01 Genesis

01 Genesis

Genesis Unveiled: A Trumpian Tale of Births, Betrayals, and Bold Moves

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Alright, folks, let me tell you about the births of Cain and Abel, tremendous births, really tremendous. So, there’s Adam and Eve, fantastic people, really fantastic. And they have these two sons, Cain and Abel, the best sons, believe me. Now, Cain, he’s a worker, a real hard worker, just like me, folks. And Abel, he’s a shepherd, taking care of those sheep, believe me. Now, they both bring offerings to the Lord, you know, to show their respect, their appreciation. And let me tell you, folks, Abel’s offering, it’s top-notch, the best offering you’ve ever seen. But Cain’s, well, it’s not so great, folks, just not so great. And the Lord, he favors Abel’s offering, big league, because when you do things right, you get rewarded, that’s just how it is. So, Cain, he gets jealous, folks, really jealous. And he goes and kills his brother, Abel, can you believe it? Big mistake, huge mistake.

Now, let me tell you about Noah, folks, Noah and his ark, a tremendous ark, believe me. So, the world, it’s filled with wickedness, absolute wickedness. But Noah, he’s a righteous man, a real righteous man, just like me. And the Lord, he tells Noah, “Build an ark, Noah, a big ark, because I’m going to flood the whole earth.” And Noah, he listens, folks, he listens to the Lord, because that’s what winners do, they listen to good advice. So, he builds this ark, this incredible ark, and he brings his family and all these animals on board, two by two, folks, two by two. And let me tell you, it rains, it pours, for forty days and forty nights, believe me. But Noah and his crew, they’re safe on that ark, safe from the flood, because they listened to the Lord, they did what they had to do.

Now, let’s talk about Abraham, folks, Abraham, the father of nations, a real patriarch, just like me. So, the Lord, he tells Abraham, “Go to the land of Canaan, Abraham, and I will bless you and make your name great.” And Abraham, he listens, folks, he listens to the Lord, because that’s what winners do, they follow through with their promises. And let me tell you, Abraham, he’s got faith, big faith, because when you believe, when you really believe, anything is possible, anything.

And now, let me tell you about Jacob and his family, folks, Jacob and his family moving from Canaan to Egypt, a big move, a really big move. So, there’s this famine in Canaan, folks, a real tough situation. But Jacob, he’s a smart guy, a real smart guy, just like me. And he hears that there’s food in Egypt, plenty of food, believe me. So, he takes his family, his sons, his grandsons, and they head to Egypt, to Joseph, his son, who’s second in command there, folks, second in command. And they settle in Egypt, they make a home there, because when times get tough, when times get really tough, you gotta do what you gotta do to survive, that’s just how it is.

Jacob knew he had to make a big league decision, folks. He saw the writing on the wall, just like I do, and he took action. He didn’t hesitate, he didn’t falter, he just went for it, like a true winner. And let me tell you, folks, Egypt was the place to be. They had food, they had shelter, they had everything Jacob’s family needed to thrive.

And let’s talk about Joseph, folks, Joseph, a real success story, just like me. He went from being sold into slavery by his own brothers to becoming second in command in Egypt, can you believe it? That’s what I call making the best of a bad situation, folks. Joseph knew how to negotiate, he knew how to strategize, he knew how to win, just like me.

So, Jacob and his family, they settle in Egypt, they make a home there, they prosper, they thrive, because that’s what winners do, folks. They adapt, they overcome, they succeed. And let me tell you, folks, Jacob’s family, they became a force to be reckoned with in Egypt. They grew, they multiplied, they became a great nation, just like the Lord promised Abraham.

And that, folks, is the story of Jacob and his family, a story of triumph, of resilience, of winning against all odds. And let me tell you, folks, it’s a story that will inspire generations to come, just like my own story inspires millions around the world.

01 Genesis

First tremendous folks gone bad

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Alright, folks, let me tell you about Adam and Eve, tremendous people, really tremendous. They were living in this garden, folks, let me tell you, the most beautiful garden you’ve ever seen, believe me. And in this garden, there were these two incredible people, Adam and Eve, the best people, really the best. They had everything, folks, absolutely everything.

But there was this one tree, folks, just one tree, and I said to them, “Don’t eat from that tree, okay? Just don’t do it.” But you know what they did, folks? They went ahead and ate from it, believe me, they did. Big mistake, huge mistake. And let me tell you, things changed, things changed big league.

So, they’re walking around with these fig leaves, folks, trying to cover up, but you can’t hide from me, you just can’t. And I said, “You’re outta here, out of the garden.” And that was it, folks, they were out.

But don’t worry, we’re going to build a wall, a beautiful wall, around that garden, and we’re going to keep the Never Trumpers out, believe me. We’re going to make Eden great again, folks, mark my words. This garden is going to be the best, the most incredible garden you’ve ever seen. We’re going to make it so great, folks, believe me. We’ll bring back the glory, we’ll make it a paradise once again, you’ll see.

I mean, picture it, folks, the most luxurious garden, the best garden, believe me. We’ll have trees, beautiful trees, the best trees you’ve ever seen. And the fruits, folks, oh, the fruits, they’re going to be tremendous, absolutely tremendous. We’ll have apples, we’ll have pears, we’ll have grapes, the finest grapes you’ve ever tasted. And let me tell you, the animals, folks, they’ll be amazing, the most amazing animals you’ve ever seen.

But we can’t forget about that wall, folks, that beautiful wall. We’ll make sure nobody gets in unless they’re supposed to be there, believe me. We’ll keep it safe, we’ll keep it secure, we’ll make sure it’s the envy of the world. And with me at the helm, folks, there’s no doubt we’ll succeed. We’ll make Eden great again, folks, that I can promise you.

And let me tell you, folks, about the potential in this garden. We’re going to expand, we’re going to grow, we’re going to make it the biggest, most fantastic garden you’ve ever seen. We’ll have rivers, folks, flowing with milk and honey, believe me. We’ll have gold, we’ll have jewels, we’ll have everything you could ever dream of.

But we’ll do it right, folks, we’ll do it the Trump way. We’ll make sure it’s done with class, with style, with elegance. We’ll make sure it’s the envy of the world, believe me.

So, get ready, folks, because we’re going to make Eden great again. And with me leading the way, there’s no limit to what we can achieve. Believe me.

01 Genesis

In the beginning, folks

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Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you about creation, the greatest creation you’ve ever laid eyes on, believe me. So, picture this: there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, just a big void, a huge void. And I thought to myself, “We need something, something incredible.” And then, BOOM, I created the heavens, folks, the most beautiful heavens you’ve ever witnessed. I mean, stunning, absolutely stunning. And I said, “Let there be light,” and BOOM, there was light, tremendous light, shining brighter than anything you’ve ever seen, believe me. And I made sure to separate that light from the darkness because that’s what I do; I make the greatest separations, and nobody does it better.

Then I thought, “Let’s make some land, fantastic land, the best land ever.” And just like that, folks, there it was, land, oceans, mountains, everything you could ever dream of. And I said, “Let’s add some plants to this land, beautiful plants, the most beautiful plants you’ve ever seen.” And let me tell you, folks, they were magnificent, growing, flourishing, because when I’m in charge, things grow big league.

Next, I said, “Let’s fill the seas with fish, incredible fish, the best fish you’ve ever tasted.” And just like that, folks, there they were, swimming, swimming like they’ve never swum before. And then, I thought, “Let’s make some animals, amazing animals, the most amazing animals you’ve ever seen.” And there they were, folks, roaming, flying, crawling, you name it. I mean, talk about diversity, talk about talent.

And finally, I said, “Let’s make man, fantastic man, in my image, the image of greatness.” And there he was, folks, Adam, the best man you’ve ever seen. I looked at him and said, “It is good, very good.” Because when I create, folks, I create the best, the absolute best. That’s the story of creation, folks; believe me, nobody does it better.

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