March 2024

01 Genesis

First tremendous folks gone bad

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Alright, folks, let me tell you about Adam and Eve, tremendous people, really tremendous. They were living in this garden, folks, let me tell you, the most beautiful garden you’ve ever seen, believe me. And in this garden, there were these two incredible people, Adam and Eve, the best people, really the best. They had everything, folks, absolutely everything.

But there was this one tree, folks, just one tree, and I said to them, “Don’t eat from that tree, okay? Just don’t do it.” But you know what they did, folks? They went ahead and ate from it, believe me, they did. Big mistake, huge mistake. And let me tell you, things changed, things changed big league.

So, they’re walking around with these fig leaves, folks, trying to cover up, but you can’t hide from me, you just can’t. And I said, “You’re outta here, out of the garden.” And that was it, folks, they were out.

But don’t worry, we’re going to build a wall, a beautiful wall, around that garden, and we’re going to keep the Never Trumpers out, believe me. We’re going to make Eden great again, folks, mark my words. This garden is going to be the best, the most incredible garden you’ve ever seen. We’re going to make it so great, folks, believe me. We’ll bring back the glory, we’ll make it a paradise once again, you’ll see.

I mean, picture it, folks, the most luxurious garden, the best garden, believe me. We’ll have trees, beautiful trees, the best trees you’ve ever seen. And the fruits, folks, oh, the fruits, they’re going to be tremendous, absolutely tremendous. We’ll have apples, we’ll have pears, we’ll have grapes, the finest grapes you’ve ever tasted. And let me tell you, the animals, folks, they’ll be amazing, the most amazing animals you’ve ever seen.

But we can’t forget about that wall, folks, that beautiful wall. We’ll make sure nobody gets in unless they’re supposed to be there, believe me. We’ll keep it safe, we’ll keep it secure, we’ll make sure it’s the envy of the world. And with me at the helm, folks, there’s no doubt we’ll succeed. We’ll make Eden great again, folks, that I can promise you.

And let me tell you, folks, about the potential in this garden. We’re going to expand, we’re going to grow, we’re going to make it the biggest, most fantastic garden you’ve ever seen. We’ll have rivers, folks, flowing with milk and honey, believe me. We’ll have gold, we’ll have jewels, we’ll have everything you could ever dream of.

But we’ll do it right, folks, we’ll do it the Trump way. We’ll make sure it’s done with class, with style, with elegance. We’ll make sure it’s the envy of the world, believe me.

So, get ready, folks, because we’re going to make Eden great again. And with me leading the way, there’s no limit to what we can achieve. Believe me.

01 Genesis

In the beginning, folks

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Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you about creation, the greatest creation you’ve ever laid eyes on, believe me. So, picture this: there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, just a big void, a huge void. And I thought to myself, “We need something, something incredible.” And then, BOOM, I created the heavens, folks, the most beautiful heavens you’ve ever witnessed. I mean, stunning, absolutely stunning. And I said, “Let there be light,” and BOOM, there was light, tremendous light, shining brighter than anything you’ve ever seen, believe me. And I made sure to separate that light from the darkness because that’s what I do; I make the greatest separations, and nobody does it better.

Then I thought, “Let’s make some land, fantastic land, the best land ever.” And just like that, folks, there it was, land, oceans, mountains, everything you could ever dream of. And I said, “Let’s add some plants to this land, beautiful plants, the most beautiful plants you’ve ever seen.” And let me tell you, folks, they were magnificent, growing, flourishing, because when I’m in charge, things grow big league.

Next, I said, “Let’s fill the seas with fish, incredible fish, the best fish you’ve ever tasted.” And just like that, folks, there they were, swimming, swimming like they’ve never swum before. And then, I thought, “Let’s make some animals, amazing animals, the most amazing animals you’ve ever seen.” And there they were, folks, roaming, flying, crawling, you name it. I mean, talk about diversity, talk about talent.

And finally, I said, “Let’s make man, fantastic man, in my image, the image of greatness.” And there he was, folks, Adam, the best man you’ve ever seen. I looked at him and said, “It is good, very good.” Because when I create, folks, I create the best, the absolute best. That’s the story of creation, folks; believe me, nobody does it better.

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